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My Life From Now

cuz " til now" is so yesterday

Wow, this is harder than I'd imagined .... I'm a mom, a wife, a daughter, and .... me. The "me" that has remained constant before and after marriage and motherhood LOVES exploring the constantly-expanding boundaries of my life; ACCEPTS that I don't get enough sleep and eat too much sugar and drink too much Diet Coke and take too many pills.

I will neverever stop driving 100 miles (or catching a cheap flight) to hear really good live music; never stop having inappropriate crushes on beautiful boys and girls; never start dressing like a proper grown-up soccer mom; never quit demanding a certain number of hours a day/week/month to spend just being ME (even if I just ignore the laundry and read a great book all day.) That's what I built my own private library for, right? Dayum swreet!

My family and a few dear friends are 99% of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But in my memories and dreams lives the "alterna-Marla" who is still proudly calling herself an equal-opportunity groupie, crashing in a mod/pop loft in the middle of one of my favorite cities, wearing black miniskirts, big hair and f**k-me heels, driving an RX-7, working to live and falling in love every two weeks. I don't want to go back there - OMG, the DRAMA! - but the memories are HAWT!!!

I lived it, I loved it, and I've promised myself to never again forget it. Because all the fire and passion I felt for life "back then" almost died out completely; coming so close to becoming the cold and lifeless "mom/wife" I thought I was SUPPOSED to be scared the SHIT out of me!

Accepting myself completely and rejecting years of judgement means the most thrilling years of my life lie ahead. I firmly believe it is possible to be a good mother, an incredible sexual mate and a fascinating woman - all at the same time. It had BETTER be possible, because I refuse to accept any other option.

BTW, any other (gracefully aging) groupies out there that really lived it up in the late 80s/early 90s?? If so, we need to talk! Ah, sometimes I think, "those were the days." The I see my youngest curled up asleep against his daddy, looking so angelic, and I know that PERSONALLY I'm right where I belong. Professionally? I guess someday I'll figure out if I'm meant to be more than a mom and homemaker.
60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, advertising, aimee mann, alchemy, all books, alt country, alton brown, any/all candy, architecture, autumn, badass cowboy boots, baking, balboa penninsula, beatles, bee lavender, bisexuality, bpal, bptp, bravo tv, brian singer, bulimia recovery, californication, carol o'connell, catherine keener, christian bale, classic muscle cars, computers, conspiracy theories, cooking, cult indie films, custom guitars, dance, dark knight, dark memoirs, david duchovny, diet coke, disney, dixie chicks, dmow, dogma, drake bell, english grammar, event movies, exotic travel, expensive toys, fargo, fellatio, firefly/serenity, fnl, font design, freemasons, gay rights, gender issues, gifted children, gossip boards, graphic novels, hair bands, hating commercial travel, hillary carlip, hip mamas, historic apartment buildings, home for the holidays, horror films, house m.d., hsm-all, ice cream, innovative marketing, interior design, japanese candy, jeans, jon mclaughlin, joss whedan, judd apatow, julia fordham, katherine neville, kathy griffin, keith urban, kevin smith, las vegas, laurel canyon, lessons in taxidermy, lip balm, ludo, mae moore, magazines, margaret cho, mex pharms, modern homes, musicians, my precious nieces, neil gaiman, neo-paganism, newport beach ca, nick tv, nigella lawson, non-christian religions, ou college football, parenting teenagers, paul rudd, peer marriage, peter dinkladge, phillip seymour hoffman, pop culture, pop music, poppy z. brite, porn, raising boys, reality tv, redheads, robert downey jr., rpattz, science fiction, secretary, sephora, sexual exploration, slash, smutty rps fanfic, snark, sociological trends, spiritual exploration, spoiling my "enabled", steampunk, stephen king, steve vai, superheroes, tattooed moms, the anniversary party, the matrix trilogy, the road, threesomes, torchwood, trunk tshirts, tween culture, twilight, twop, unique consumer products, urban exploration, watchmen, watermelon jolly ranchers, weeds, wicca, will & grace, writing