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January 2013

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Ever wake up in the Twilight Zone?

I'm in such a weird mood, and this has been such as odd day so far (but not in a bad way, really), that I'm hoping writing about it will help me get a handle on it.

Ever wake up on a day when your normal routine isn't required, so the rest of the day becomes a surreal wander through areas of your mind that have been lying in wait, ready to pounce on the perfect mental state to push their way to the forefront, and fucking SEIZE the controls?  Taking you down paths you haven't travelled in months/years - some scary, some just strange, some sad, some completely bizarre?

Yeah, I'm having one of those days.  The oddest part is that on the outside, I'm experiencing a perfectly normal - albeit aimless - lazy Saturday of wasting time at the computer.  The kids are playing upstairs, Scott is screaming at a football game on tv, and I'm smack dab in the middle of all that ... activity ... feeling like  I'm in a bubble ;  insular but not isolated,   quiet but not depressed ...

... engrossed, maybe?

It's the "engrossed in WHAT?" that leads me back to the Twilight Zone allusion.  Everything about my household that seems (and IS) perfectly normal feels ... off, somehow.  Skewed, in a slightly spooky way, but I'm not upset or frightened.  Instead, I'm finding myself drawn to websites that focus on the freaky, the odd - the sites I save in folders named "a few random sites," "conspiracy and anarchist readings," "paranormal and kinda weird shit." 

I'm gonna pretend that everyone on my flist has folders in their Favorites that hold bookmarks like that, kk?  If you don't, keep it to yourself.

As Dane Cook and Daniel Tosh say in their genius comedic stylings:  "Ever have a scary dream/nightmare, then try to tell your friend about it and realize YOU are a retard?"    That's the kind of foolish I'm feeling as I write this entry. 

Just ignore me, and carry on.  I'll be fine here in the dark, reading ghost stories ....


NO, that totally happens to me too! I just never talked about it. But I seriously know what you are talking about.
I once spent several hours right before bedtime reading about cryogenic preservation (myth vs. current technical reality). THAT is some strange shit to dream about, I tell you what.
I know the feeling...

Also wanted to say.....